


Love and Care

by Niina_rox



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Suicide Attempt, Youngjae has some issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-07-21 07:55:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19998511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niina_rox/pseuds/Niina_rox
Summary: I'm not sure if this is decent or not, it's my first time writing a story like this.





	Love and Care

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if this is decent or not, it's my first time writing a story like this.

It seems like any other Wednesday but, with one exception. Youngjae is feeling pretty low, he’s not sure what it is about today. But there’s just something, it’s possible it’s a  feeling.  But as he wanders through town Youngjae finds himself at the biggest bridge in town, the one that’s well known because a few people have jumped from here.  _‘Do it! Jump!’_ Youngjae looks down at the water, he takes a deep breath. It comes out shaky more than he expects, without trying he finds the big gap. He’s now standing on the other side, to anyone walking by they would know. 

What is about to happen. He takes another breath as a breeze passes by, he thinks of his family. His friends and how none of them really, know what goes on in his mind. He’s been plagued by insecurity and, anxiety for as long as he can remember. But it’s been the last couple of years, he’s been stuck with a voice in his head. Constantly telling him that, he’s not good enough. That no one really loves him, like they say they do. That he should just kill himself, right now though it’s worse.  _‘You should just end it, it would be easier on everyone who claims they love you.’_

It’s quiet. It’s decided he’s going to jump, somehow he feels a little better. But suddenly there’s something, _someone_ pulling him back. They both sit on the ground, Youngjae’s mind goes blank. As he stares at the water before turning, to look at who saved him. The only question that comes out “w-why,” it’s quiet naturally, he’s unsure of how to answer that. Should he tell a complete stranger, what he’s going through. He pulls his knees against his chest, a way of shutting out the world. In a quiet voice he manages a simple, “I’m not good enough for anyone.”

He misses the look on the others face, Jinyoung feels his heart ache. He wants to do nothing more than hold him, “c-can I help show you that you are.” Nothing more is said at first, Youngjae looks back at him. “But you don’t even know me,” the other smiles a little “I’d like to.” He stands up ready to help him up, “I’m Jinyoung,” he waits. “I’m Youngjae” they’re still holding hands, but it seems to help him. Little did Youngjae know what kind of impact, Jinyoung would have on his life.

[<3 <3 <3 <3]

They’ve been friends for three months now, the voice in his head has eased. But it hasn’t gone away just yet, it shows that Jinyoung is meant to be in his life. Youngjae has grown to like having him, by his side. The minute he starts thinking he loves him, the voice appears  _‘he doesn’t like you that way. How could anyone love you Youngjae, you’re a mess’_ it’s been a few days since his thoughts changed. Does he want things to be different? It’s possible. It’s Saturday morning, and Youngjae has forgotten that he’s supposed to meet up with Jinyoung.

But he’s stuck in his mind and, of course, he’s still in bed. It’s a little before nine and, his phone vibrates on the bedside table. Instead of reaching for it he pulls the blankets over his head, not ready to face the world. He just doesn’t expect the other to be persistent, in the end, he reaches for it. Finding out that there’s a bunch of messages from Jinyoung. 

_From Jinyoung_

_“Youngjae? Have you forgotten what today is?”_

_“If you have I’m here to remind you :).”_

_“Youngjae don’t ignore me :(.”_

He takes a moment thinking of a response.

_“Jinyoung, I just don’t feel up to doing anything.”_

He puts his phone back and, rolls over ready to fall asleep again. He’s not expecting a knock at the door, fully prepared to ignore it. Until “Youngjae, can you open the door,” with a sigh he’s up and heading to the door. He doesn’t have to say anything, Jinyoung pulls him into his arms. Youngjae doesn’t try to stop the tears, “it’s okay Youngjae.” He really wanted to believe that, “a-are you aware that I like you.” His words are slightly muffled but, Jinyoung still heard them. He smiled a little “what a coincidence I like you too,” it falls quiet but, they don’t seem to mind. 

[<3 <3 <3 <3] 

Jinyoung has done his best to show Youngjae, that he loves him. To help get past his insecurities but, it doesn’t seem to work as well as he hoped. He isn’t aware of how bad it is, he's not aware that some of Youngjae's thoughts. Are suicidal ones, he's not to know because Youngjae doesn't tell him. He never says anything about the voice, or the numerous thoughts that run through his mind. It's a Friday night around eleven-thirty, it marks six months since they met. It's quiet, he knows he should be sleeping, but instead he's sitting on his bathroom floor.

With a razor blade in his hand, he knows what he's going to do. With a slightly shaky breath he places the blade on his left wrist, and drags it across his skin. He gasps a little from the pain, but he doesn't mind that it hurts. He makes another cut as the blood drips to the floor, he has a bit of difficulty cutting his right wrist. It's then he lets the blade drop out of his hand, then he falls back. As everything begins to go black, the last thing he's aware of is; Jinyoung showing up. Youngjae isn't aware of what he is up to, at least not yet.

It's as Jinyoung is patching him up, and slightly freaking out. "Why Youngjae? Why would you try and kill yourself," it's then he breaks "I-I wanted to end it all, to silence the voice in my head." Once he's done he pulls Youngjae into his arms, holding onto him as he cries. Jinyoung takes a moment or two, as he thinks of what to say next. "Do you know I would be lost without you," it falls quiet. They eventually end up on Youngjae's bed, with the younger still in his arms. "Are you aware of how much I love you," he isn't sure what to say to that.

It's a little after one am when Youngjae falls asleep, it's a dreamless sleep. The next morning he finds he's still in Jinyoung's arms, he smiles a little. He's well aware that he'll get asked, but he doesn't know when. Close to twenty minutes later, Jinyoung wakes up. They look at each other before Youngjae looks away, "what has that voice been telling you." At first, he shakes his head he hides his face, in Jinyoung's chest. He simply lets him take his time soon enough, it's "for years it's been telling me that I'm not good enough." He takes a moment.

"That no one really loves me" Jinyoung holds him, "you know that's not true." He kisses the top of his head "you are good enough, and you know that we love you." After a while he asked; “do you want to see a therapist,” Youngjae thought about it. But shook his head “okay but, you need to at least talk to me.” It fell quiet Jinyoung heard a quiet “okay,” he was hoping he was confident enough to tell him everything. It will take some time before, he’s okay. As Jinyoung looked at Youngjae's wrists, he wanted to make sure they would heal okay.

It was then Youngjae said; "I'm glad I meet you Jinyoung, I'm happy that you're by my side." Jinyoung smiled a little as he finished up, he held his face gently before leaning in to kiss him. "I'm happy to hear that" he became a little serious, as he softly caressed his face. "And I'm more than happy to stay by your side, so please stay alive for me." Youngjae shed a couple of tears, "okay" _'don't listen to him.'_ "For you I'll try" it fell quiet for a while, Youngjae can't help but, wonder. Will he ever stop hearing that voice?


End file.
